17/09/1972      M*A*S*H - The Pilot

George Morgan (Mulcahy)

At the 4077th Mobile Army Surgical Hospital (M.A.S.H) unit in Korea, two army doctors by the names of Hawkeye Pierce and Trapper John McIntyre receive some exciting news in the mail. Their Korean house boy, Ho-John got accepted into Hawkeye's old college. Hawkeye and Trapper decide to hold a party filled with music, dancing, and alcohol to raise money for Ho-John's plane trip to the U.S. They achieve this by raffling off a weekend pass with a nurse, Lieutenant Dish for R&R in Tokyo.

24/09/1972      To Market, to Market

The hijacking of the 4077th's hydrocortizone delivery forces Hawkeye and Trapper to use the black market. They get one businessman interested in Col. Blake's antique oak desk and trade it to get some of the drug. Margaret and Frank become suspicious about their plotting, and about the Koreans who come to check out the desk. Henry Blake, very fond of his desk, and Maj. Burns watches it get hoisted away by helicopter.

01/10/1972      Requiem for a Lightweight

William Christopher (Mulcahy)

Trapper and Hawkeye seek to keep a new nurse from being transferred by Hot Lips, and they vie for her affection. Henry Blake, challenged by another commander to a boxing tournament, makes Trapper fight a big, intimidating soldier in exchange for keeping the nurse at the 4077th. Hawkeye and Ugly John employ the use of a glove soaked with ether to insure Trapper's victory, which impresses the nurse. Margaret and Frank's attempts to unfix the match collapses, as they are flattened by the unconscious boxer!

08/10/1972      Chief Surgeon Who?

Jamie Farr (Klinger)

Frank Burns complains about Hawkeye Pierce's disrespect...and Henry appoints Hawkeye chief surgeon, to Burns's shock. The rest of the 4077th "coronates" Hawk while Frank and Hot Lips complain to General Barker. The General's visit provides him with a view of life at the 4077th M*A*S*H unit: camp hijinks, a poker game, and a surgery session.

15/10/1972      The Moose

A GI arrives in camp with a "moose"--a Korean female slave!--who was bought from her family for $500. Trapper, Radar, and an incensed Hawkeye conspire to cheat at poker to win her away from the GI. They attempt to give her back but discover that her family, in the person of her wiseacre brother, will resell her. The three try a "Pygmalion" effort to give her self-respect.

Frank & Hotlips don't appear.

22/10/1972      Yankee Doodle Doctor

The 4077th is designated as the setting for the making of an army film on Mobile Army Surgical Hospital units. Hawkeye is chosen as the star while Margaret and Frank compose a screenplay. Hawkeye objects to the piece of propoganda that filmmaker Lt. Bricker is producing and, having exposed the original film, reshoots a new one his way, starring himself as Groucho Marx-ish Yankee Doodle Doctor, and poking fun at glorifying doctors while concluding with a rather serious speech about the hell of war.

05/11/1972      Bananas, Crackers and Nuts

A barrage of heavy casualties leave an exhausted Hawkeye with an insatiable yen for some R&R in Tokyo. His attempts to get Frank to sign a pass with insanity only result in Frank and Hot Lips ordering a psychiatric examination. Hawkeye continues his act by telling Capt. Sherman, the psychiatrist, he's in love with Maj. Burns. Sherman is ready to commit him until Hawk and Trap set him up to make a pass at Maj. Houlihan and have him discredited. At the end Capts. Pierce and MacIntyre are all set to go, until they are interrupted by another barrage of heavy casualties.

12/11/2972      Cowboy

William Christopher (Mulcahy)

John Hodges, a chopper pilot referred to as The Cowboy because of his gun holster belt and cowboy hat, has been hit in the shoulder, and arrives at the 4077th. He is expecting a letter--he's worried his wife Jean at home is leaving him for another man ("She's probably off with some rodeo rider; she's a sucker for a 10-gallon hat!"). He wants to go home, but Henry refuses, stating Cowboy's wound isn't serious enough to merit a stateside ticket. Bad luck then follows Henry Blake like the seat of his pants: he gets shot at while golfing, his tent gets flattened by a driverless jeep, and the latrine explodes while he's inside. The Cowboy offers to fly Henry to Seoul and then threatens to shove him out! The letter finally arives for Cowboy, assuring he is loved. Hawkeye and Trapper uses the radio to convince The Cowboy to spare Henry's life and come down, at which they succeed.

Hotlips does not appear in this episode.

19/11/1972      Henry, Please Come Home

William Christopher (Mulcahy)

Henry receives a citation for the camp achieving the best efficiency rating, and then General Hammond reassigns him to Tokyo. Frank then changes the camp to be more military, and he confiscates Hawkeye's and Trapper's still. They use forged passes to go to Tokyo to convince Henry to come back and end up pretending Radar is sick.

26/11/1972      I Hate A Mystery

William Christopher (Mulcahy)

A rash of thefts breaks out in the camp. Missing pieces include Frank's silver picture frame, Margaret's hair brush, and Trapper's watch. The camp is searched and everything is found in Hawkeye's locker. Everyone thinks he did it. Hawkeye manages to announce to the camp that the items will be dusted for prints to identify the real thief, and catches Ho Jon. He needed money to bring his family from the North, and to bribe border guards.

10/12/1972      Germ Warfare

Hawkeye moves a wounded North Korean soldier into The Swamp, rather than let him be shipped out before he's stable. During the night he and Trapper play Dracula, and siphon off a pint of Frank's blood. The soldier then contracts hepatitis, so they have to test Frank without him knowing, and have to keep him away from Margaret and the patients.

17/12/1972      Dear Dad

William Christopher (Mulcahy) Jamie Farr (Klinger)

Hawkeye writes home, describing Christmas in Korea: Radar ships a jeep home, a piece at a time; Henry gives the monthly lecture on sex, with the aid of figure A and figure B; Trapper helps deliver a calf; Klinger and Frank get into a fight, but Father Mulcahy smoothes things over; Hawkeye and Trapper sabotage Margaret's tent; Hawkeye flies to the front line dressed as Santa, to help a wounded soldier.

24/12/1972      Edwina

The nurses go to extremes lengths to find a date for Nurse Eddie - they won't go out with anyone until Eddie gets a date. The men draw straws, and Hawkeye is the big loser, especially after Eddie nearly kills him in a scene resembling teenage "mating" rituals.

07/01/1973      Love Story

Radar gets a Dear John recording from home. Hawkeye and Trapper try to set him up with a date, but fail. Radar is taken by a new nurse at the camp and she is into poetry and music, so they coach him. Margaret wants to stop the relationship, so Hawkeye and Trapper get between her and Frank until she relents. Radar's "Ahhhh, Bach!" and "That's highly significant," quotes win him the girl.

14/01/1973      Tuttle

William Christopher (Mulcahy)

Hawkeye creates a fake doctor, Captain Jonathan S. Tuttle, to give supplies to the local orphans. Henry wants Tuttle to be officer of the day, so Hawkeye creates a fake personnel file, and all his back pay is given to the orphanage. When General Clayton wants to reward his generosity, Hawkeye is forced to invent a story about Tuttle jumping from a chopper without his parachute! Of course, Trapper's new friend, Captain Murdoch, obtained the fake dog tags and parachute...!

21/01/1973      The Ringbanger

Hawkeye and Trapper do an operation on Col. Buzz Brighton, who Margaret breathlessly proclaims "I saw his picture in Star's and Stripes." The two are trying to remove a bullet from his leg. After removing the bullet and discovering who he is, Hawkeye and Trapper observe that the local anastetic used probably wasn't their best choice, and invite Colonel Brighton back to the swamp for a little home made painkillers. He accepts, and when he stops by later, Trapper and Hawkeye decide it would be in his best interest if he didn't head back out to the front line - "at least not right now" they tell themselves. So, in typical Hawkeye and Pierce fashion, they pull a great number of pratical jokes to convince Buzz that he needs to stay, including telling him that Henry is a boozer. They also managed to slip in that Frank showed up to an air raid in High Heels - which have nicley been planted next to his things when Buzz stops by later.  Due to telling Radar about the jokes, they have also arranged for Radar to deliver a white bra, a white slip and a black lacy top to Frank as his laundry. Hawkeye and Trapper get Henry nice and drunk at the same time that Margaret and Frank are in Buzz's tent - which succeeds in doing nothing more than rattling Buzz's cage. Which, oddly enough, is exactly what Trapper and Hawkeye wanted them to do. Once Henry is too drunk to know what is going on, Trapper, Hawkeye, Radar, and Henry head off to Buzz's tent - with Buzz's discharge orders firmly in tow, just awaiting a signature from Henry. Convinced they're doing the right thing, and with Henry too drunk to know the difference, Buzz's walking papers get signed, and Buzz is sent on his way to the states - with little enthuasiam from Buzz.

28/01/1973      Sometimes You Hear the Bullet

William Christopher (Mulcahy)

Frank throws his back out whilst spending the evening with Margaret, and ends up in traction. He promptly applies for the Purple Heart, having been 'technically' wounded at a frontline unit. Tommy Gillis, an old friend of Hawkeye's, is writing a book about the war, and pays him a visit. Later, Tommy is brought into the camp, seriously wounded, and Hawkeye can't save him. A 15-year-old kid is in the hospital to have his appendix out. He joined up to be a hero back home, but Hawkeye has him sent home, giving him Frank's purple heart.

04/02/1973      Dear Dad, Again

Jamie Farr (Klinger) William Christopher (Mulcahy)

Once again, Hawkeye writes home to his father, telling him of the latest gossip: the camp gets a new surgeon, who turns out to be a fake; Hawkeye bets he can walk into the mess tent naked for lunch, and no one will notice; Radar cheats on his final exam from the High School diploma company; Margaret rejects Franks advances and he gets drunk late into the night; the camp have a no talent night.  Hawkeye tells his dad to give his mom and sister a kiss.

17/02/1973      The Long-John Flap

Jamie Farr (Klinger) William Christopher (Mulcahy)

The camp suffers from the severe cold, except for Hawkeye who has received some long john's from his father. They get passed around from person to person, as a gift, a gambling stake, a trade, a bribe, stolen, given up to Father Mulcahy, who gives them to Henry, who returns them to Hawkeye as thanks for taking out his appendix.

25/02/1973      The Army-Navy Game

Jamie Farr (Klinger) William Christopher (Mulcahy)

The camp tunes into the Army/Navy football game, only to be shelled and have an unexploded bomb land in the middle of the compound. They ring around trying to identify the bomb, and the camp prepares for the worst. Hawkeye and Trapper are left the task of following instructions to disarm the bomb, which turns out to be full of propaganda leaflets from the CIA.

04/03/1973      Sticky Wicket

Hawkeye and Frank argue over Frank's surgical ability. Hawkeye performs a difficult operation and the patient does not recover, as he should. Hawkeye begins to doubt his ability and moves out of The Swamp. He decides to open up his patients again, and discovers a nick in the colon that even Frank admits anyone could have missed.

11/03/1973      Major Fred C. Dobbs

As usual Frank's normal drone of verbal abuse upsets Ginger, so Hawkeye puts his arm in a cast while he is asleep. Frank puts in for a transfer, and after a broadcast goes out of Frank telling Margaret he's leaving, she decides to leave as well. As a result, Col. Blake puts both Hawk and Trap on double post-op duty until he finds replacements for Majs. Burns and Houlihan.  Unwilling to lose their two favorite patsies, and to be worn to a frazzle from doing 2 shifts in O/R, Hawkeye and Trapper hatch a scheme to prevent Frank and Hot Lips from leaving. That night, Hawkeye and Trapper pretend they have found gold, letting Frank overhear them. Frank then withdraws his request when he thinks he's found gold himself, although the joke is on him when he finds, amongst other things, a gilded jeep!

18/03/1973      Cease-Fire

Jamie Farr (Klinger) William Christopher (Mulcahy)

General Clayton calls so say that a ceasefire is to be declared. The camp celebrates, Klinger gives away his dresses and locals start to take pieces of the camp. But Trapper does not believe it. Hawkeye claims he is married to avoid promises he made to several nurses. The party to celebrate the cease-fire, which never really took place, is interrupted by incoming wounds.

25/03/1973      Showtime

William Christopher (Mulcahy)

Captain Kaplan is to be shipped home, but becomes paranoid that something will happen to him before he leaves. He takes the wheel of the jeep to drive to Kimpo himself, but crashes and ends up in plaster. An entertainer, Jackie Flash, visits the camp to entertain the troops.